Realizations, Epiphanies And Life Lessons I’ve Learned as an INFJ

Realizations, Epiphanies And Life Lessons I’ve Learned as an INFJ

We are thought of as the Counselors, the Visionaries, the Confidants of humanity.  We are defined as introspective, sensitive, caring, and complex people.

It was in early 2009 when I first discovered the Myer Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and its subsequent 16 personality types developed and patented by Katherine Briggs and Isabel Myers.  Discovering my MBTI personality type: the INFJ, was the beginning of a long period of self-discovery that still continues to this day.  If you haven’t been acquainted with MBTI, I really encourage you to take our free personality test based on it.

While labels can be restrictive and limiting, I personally found that identifying as an INFJ assisted me in better understanding who I am and why I think, feel, and behave the way I do.  Any form of personality classification is an excellent way of understanding and accepting yourself and the people around you, and is a useful component in inner work.

As many INFJ’s (Introverted Intuitive Feeling Judging), and other “IN” (Introverted Intuitive) personality types seem to be drawn to our LonerWolf community, I thought it was about time to write this article.

Realizations, Epiphanies And Life Lessons

Said to exist in approximately 1-3% of the population, INFJ’s are somewhat the underdogs in the world of personality types, constituting a smaller than average percentage of people in society.

Additionally, it seems common for the INFJ to display Highly Sensitive and Empathic traits.  Many INFJ’s (not all), also identify as Old Souls.

Through my years of self-discovery, I’ve found that I am both an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) and display Empathic abilities.  I’ve also shared some thoughts on being an Old Soul, having written a novella on the subject last year.  Keeping all these factors in mind, these are some of the most humbling life lessons I’ve learned in the past few years:

Lesson #1  You want to solve everyone’s problems …

… You realize some problems aren’t made to solve.  Problems provide a catalyst for change and can offer valuable life lessons to the ones experiencing them.  Therefore, it’s not always our place to fix people’s issues.  With enough experience and discernment, we realize that some problems are out of our grasp and control for a reason.

Lesson #2  You find it almost impossible to find anyone who speaks the same “language” as you …

… You realize other people also speak unique languages that aren’t necessarily understood, or reciprocated, by you.  It’s easy to feel misunderstood and frustrated with social encounters, but just as there are many races on earth, so too are there many languages of the mind and heart.  You feel frustrated that people don’t reciprocate the same level of interaction as you, but what makes you think that you don’t reciprocate on the exact same level as them?  You aren’t alone in your frustration.

Lesson #3  You are tired of carrying the emotional baggage of others, but feel guilty for not being there for them …

… You realize that it’s completely fine and healthy to take time off for yourself.  You must show love and consideration for yourself in order to show the full extent of your love and consideration to others.

Lesson #4  You are loyal to a fault, and are bitter that other people you care for aren’t …

… You realize that no two people are the same.  People have their virtues and faults, and you are free to guide your loyalty elsewhere.  There are many other loyal people in the world.

Lesson #5  You are disappointed at how bland and shallow people are …

… You realize that people are on different wavelengths from you, and haven’t necessarily developed the same mental or emotional faculties as you have.  That’s fine.  People have different interests and different capabilities, and you are certainly not alone at the end of the day.  There are people out there like you.

Lesson #6  You often feel alienated, alone and like an “outsider” …

… You realize that your inner Solitude is a valuable gift which helps you deepen your visions, insights and revelations.  You also see that no matter how you feel, there is always someone else who understands how you feel and what you are going through.

Lesson #7  When you feel, you feel very deeply …

… You realize that although being an emotional person has its benefits, it’s also a good idea to learn how to step away from your emotions for your own well-being.  Learning how to be a detached observer is also very beneficial.

Lesson #8  You long for a deep and meaningful job, relationship and friendship, but become easily let down …

… You realize that true happiness and fulfillment can only come from within.  Seeking for external happiness in the form of idealistic interpersonal connections, jobs and so forth, will only create disappointment and unhappiness.

Lesson #9  You are a visionary and highly idealistic person …

… You realize that while idealism can motivate you and guide you, it can also be limiting and psychologically unhealthy.  Practicality must be balanced with impracticality in order to build an equalized person.

Written by Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at

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