Self-Loathing: 15 Signs to recognise self-hate and Why it Happens

It can feel scary to change friends, jobs, and habits. It can feel daunting to stand up and make a change – despite what the harsh and critical voice in your head says. But you have a warrior inside of you, and you have the right to be happy, to live a life that supports you.

So do some thinking. Assess your life right now. Plan escape routes. Seek out those who uphold and uplift you. It may take some time, but it is so worth doing. Neglecting this practice is like trying to build a castle on top of a swamp: it’s unstable. Any changes you make will be undermined by those around you if you aren’t careful. So choose your company wisely.

5. Explore your core beliefs (and reframe them)

Your core belief is the central conviction you have about yourself. Everything else in your life – your habits, behaviors, self-talk, job choices, friends, partners – will revolve around this central belief. And if this belief is negative, that’s a tragedy in-the-making.

Common negative core beliefs include:

  • “I am bad”
  • “I am worthless”
  • “I am unlovable”
  • “I am defective”

In our article on core beliefs (which I strongly encourage you to read), I show you how to get to the root of this central conviction and uncover your core belief for yourself.

Once you have found your core belief, it’s then important to reframe and reprogram it. So, for example, if your core belief is “I am unlovable” then you would hold as your mantra “I am lovable, I am worthy of love.”

This mantra (or affirmation) can be repeated endlessly throughout the day whenever a thought or feeling of self-loathing arises. Slowly, you will shift your core belief from something toxic/negative to healthy/positive.

6. Commit to self-love and self-care

Self-love and self-care are commitments and attitudes we bring into our lives. When we walk the path of self-love, we are taking every opportunity we can to take care of ourselves – no matter what happens or who happens to hurt us.

What’s the difference between self-love and self-care, you may wonder? Well, self-love is more directed toward the heart and mind. Self-care, on the other hand, is more body-oriented.

Ultimately, the goal is to take care of all levels of your being (your body, heart, mind, and soul). That’s why I recommend that you read our articles on how to love yourself and how to practice self-care.

7. Take care of your soul (mindfulness + meditation)

As I mentioned above, soul loss is at the very root of self-loathing. When we are disconnected from the Divine – in whatever form that comes for us – we feel empty, dead, and lost inside.

The easiest way to re-establish a connection with your soul (which is your True Nature) is through mindfulness and meditation.

Mindfulness reconnects you with the present moment which is where all the magic happens, and meditation helps you to move past your ego and experience your soul.

Mindfulness and meditation also help you to deal with self-loathing thoughts by becoming aware of them. Once you become aware of them, you become an observer of them, rather than being lost in them. It’s kind of like the difference between being the dramatic movie, and sitting back in the movie theater and watching the movie in a relaxed manner.

Written by Aletheia Luna

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at

“It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.” ― Philip K. Dick, VALIS

It Is Sometimes An Appropriate Response To Reality To Go Insane.

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