In all successful relationships, it’s vital to honestly examine your behavior and be willing to discuss it and change. “What can I do if I’m draining someone?” is an honest question that means you are ready for change. Be compassionate with yourself in this inquiry and applaud your desire to change. The key to change is to examine the draining behavior, such as being negative or controlling—then treat others differently.
|1. Do people avoid you or glaze over during a conversation?||Yes||No|
|2. Are you self-obsessed?||Yes||No|
|3. Are you often negative?||Yes||No|
|4. Do you gossip or bad-mouth people?||Yes||No|
|5. Are you critical or controlling?||Yes||No|
|6. Are you a drama queen or king?||Yes||No|
|7. Do you corner people and tell them your life’s story?||Yes||No|
|8. Are you in an emotional black hole, but won’t get help?||Yes||No|
How to interpret this quiz
- If you had 0 yeses – You have positive energy much of the time and can increasingly treat yourself with kindness.
- If you had 1 yes – You are a positive person who is occasionally negative. Just be aware of when comes in and try to change the behavior.
- If you had 2 yeses – Your energy is getting more vibrant and alive as you begin to set better boundaries with negative people.
- If you had 3 yeses – Positive energy is building and you’re making room for more joy.
- If you had 4 yeses – You’re a combination of positive and negative. You challenge now is to watch for draining behaviors and change the
- If you had 5 yeses – Sometimes you are positive, though negativity still plays a significant role in your life.
- If you had 6 yeses – Your behavior can be draining, but you’re ready to learn how to be more positive in your life even if you don’t access this attitude easily now.
- If you had 7 yeses – You tend to be negative with people and can be hard on yourself and others. It’s time to be kinder to yourself and others. Stay open to this.
- If you had 8 yeses – A positive attitude towards people is hard to come by at this point, but you can always start to build it NOW!
This quiz is excerpted from
by Judith Orloff MD
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