in

How to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires at Work

How to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires at Work
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

The quality of our relationships affects our health. Our relationships are governed by a give and take of energy. Some coworkers and colleagues make us more electric or at ease. Yet others suck the life right out of us. The super toxic ones can make you believe you’re flawed and unlovable. You may tiptoe around them for fear of an explosion. Some attack with put-downs, blame, or shame. They might say, “Dear, you’re looking really tired and old today,” or “You’re too sensitive.” Suddenly they make you feel as if something is wrong with you.

As a physician and energy specialist, I want to verify that energy vampires roam the world sapping our exuberance. With patients and in my workshops I’ve seen their fang marks and the carnage they’ve strewn. But most of us don’t know how to identify and cope with draining people, so we mope around as unwitting casualties, enduring preventable fatigue.

In The Empath’s Survival Guide and Positive Energy I discuss some types of draining people to watch for at work and ways to deal with them.

Vampire #1: The Sob Sister

Every time you talk to her she’s whining. She adores a captive audience. She’s the coworker with the “poor me” attitude who’s more interested in complaining than solutions.

How to Protect Yourself: Set clear boundaries. Limit the time you spend talking about her complaints. Say “no” with a smile. For instance, with a co-worker, smile and say, “I’ll hold positive thoughts for the best possible outcome. Thank you for understanding that I’m on deadline and must get back to my project.” With friends and family, briefly empathize with their problem, and say “no” with a smile by changing the subject and not encouraging their complaints.” With a firm but kind attitude say, “I’m sorry I can only talk for a few minutes today.”

Vampire #2: The Drama Queen

This vampire has a flair for exaggerating small incidents into off-the-chart dramas. My patient Sarah was exhausted when she hired a new employee who was always late for work. One weeks he had the flu and “almost died.” Next, his car was towed, again!. After this employee left her office Sarah felt tired and used.

How to Protect Yourself: A drama queen doesn’t get mileage out of equanimity. Stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you not get caught up in the histrionics. At work, set kind but firm limits. Say, “You must be here on time to keep your job. I’m sorry for all your mishaps, but work comes first.”

Vampire #3:The Constant Talker or Joke Teller

He has no interest in your feelings; he’s only concerned with himself. Initially, he might seem entertaining, but when the talking doesn’t stop, you begin to get tired. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or he might physically move in so close he’s practically breathing on you. You edge backward, but without missing a beat, he steps closer again. “One patient said about such a coworker, ‘Whenever I spot this man my colon goes into spasm.”

Written by Dr. Judith Orloff

Judith Orloff, MD is the New York Times best-selling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. Her new book Thriving as an Empath offers daily self-care tools for sensitive people along with its companion The Empath’s Empowerment Journal. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating highly sensitive, empathic people in her private practice. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times. Dr. Orloff has spoken at Google-LA and has a popular TEDX talk. Her other books are Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People, The Empowered Empath’s Journal, Emotional Freedom and Guide to Intuitive Healing. Explore more information about her Empath Support Online course and speaking schedule on www.drjudithorloff.com.

How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life : 9 Steps

How to Find Yourself When You’re Lost in Life (9 Steps)

The Difference Between Empaths and Highly Sensitive People

The Difference Between Empaths and Highly Sensitive People