Here are Top 72 Funny Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud
1) Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.
2) Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.
3) Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
4) If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.-
5) How do you go to work? Forced! No, I mean how do you arrive there? Depressed.-
6) That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.
7) Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse
8) I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
9) Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you
10) It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.
11) I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.
12) I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.
13) Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase.
14) My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.
15) I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.
16) For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
17) I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a “cell” phone.-
18) Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
19) Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I’m sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers
20) Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.-
21) You don’t know something? Google it. You don’t know someone? Facebook it. You don’t know where something is? MOM!
22) If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.
23) I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it’s still there.. it hasn’t gone anywhere. What’s the problem?
24) That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said
25) We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.
26) You wanna know who I’m in love with? Read the first word again
27) I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and I find is ingredients.-
28) I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge