Are you longing for relationships that do your heart good and generate stronger connections? In my book, Positive Energy I discuss how to radically improve your health and relationships by bringing positive people and situations into your life. Knowing about energy can transform your ability to build positive relationships, prevent loneliness and ward off fatigue. By making the energetic shifts described here, you can draw good things to you.
Law No. 1: We attract who we are.
The more positive energy we give off, the more we’ll receive. Ditto for negativity. It works like this: Love attracts love. Grumpiness attracts grumpiness. Passion attracts passion. Rage attracts rage.
First, define what being positive does and doesn’t mean for you in terms of attitude and behavior. Don’t worry if you’re far from a positive place. It’s an evolution. Give thought to what you value most in yourself or other. You can then strengthen these traits in yourself, and attract the same.
The idea is to find reciprocally nourishing interactions, not to win a popularity contest. (Of course, it feels good to be liked. But I’ve seen this need turn into addiction.) The following exercise will help you boost your positive signals.
Identify your best qualities and project them to the world. Before meeting new people or going to important events, prime yourself. Think, “I’m not going to focus on my insecurity but on a strength like my sensitivity, compassion or humor; I’m going to feel and trust the positive energy inside me. I’m going to claim my full power.” Such selective attention puts your best parts front and center.
Law No. 2: Intuition clarifies smart choices.
Relationships are tricky; they can be a big blur even when your eyes are open. We’ve learned to draw conclusions from surface data: how nice someone seems, looks or is educated, or how a situation adds up on paper. But attraction goes deeper; to make it work for you, other ingredients must be considered. Respect your intuitions about relationships and identify those that highlight compatible matches.
What may obscure the picture is anxiety or intense sexual attraction. If so, go slow until you get a keener intuitive read. In my book, Positive Energy I give exercises to help train you to act from instinct, not impulse.
Tune in. Choose a relationship or situation that needs clarification – perhaps you’re confused about a friendship or vacation. Run it by your intuition criteria: Do you feel troubled and nervous or energized and safe?
Act on vibes. Insecurity, ego, lust or stubbornness can obscure your better judgment. If a person feels positive, explore the possibilities. If the vibes are mixed, take a pass or at least wait. If all you sense is negative, have the courage to walk away, no matter how tempting the option seems. Then observe how listening to energy in this way leads you to the juiciest opportunities.
Law No. 3: Seeing the best in people magnetizes them.
Instead of reflexively accentuating the worst in a person or situation, choose to energize positive qualities. The object isn’t to flatter, make nice, be politically correct or ignore intuitive red flags – nor to deny someone’s dark side or placate abusers. Your goal is to mine the gold in positive relationships and elevate the communication in more difficult ones.