Having someone in your life who is hard to love is certainly a difficult situation – especially when you have little or no choice but to keep that person in your life. However, think of a scenario when you yourself are the person who is difficult to love – things can become quite tricky. You find that your behavior incites a lot of conflicts, even making your relationships suffer.
You might be thinking in your mind that you are the most wonderful, most adorable person in the whole wide world, who is capable of being loved by each and everyone – however, the situation is not so. While it might not be possible to make everyone around you even like you, leave alone love – it is important for you to be loved, for which you require certain qualities. But you gradually find more and more people pulling away from you, they do not want to spend more time with you than required or even avoid you in some cases.
So, what do you do in a situation like this? There are many reasons why it is hard to love a difficult person. You might be thinking, “Am I hard to love? What should I do?” There can be a few steps that can be taken on your part in order to improve the different dynamics that you share with people.
We bring to you 11 things to do when you feel you are hard to love.
1. Learn to love yourself first:
How will you make others love you if you don’t love yourself first? It is mandatory to love yourself first in order to be loved by other people. Identify those habits, personality traits, and behavior patterns of yours that make you a considerably “difficult” person to be around, which makes people avoid you and not very keen to spend time with you. Work on those, and make yourself someone who is lovable by most people. The first step to this would be inculcating self-love within yourself. Only when you love yourself, you will be able to spread love, light, and positivity among others.
2. Take care of your own needs:
Besides self-love, you would also need to be consistent with your self-care practice – the best way to practice self-care would be by making sure that all of your needs are met on a day-to-day basis. When you take care of yourself regularly, you pave the way for healthier habits, being in a happy state where you do not have to depend on other people to get your needs met. When people around you recognize that you are self-reliant and self-sufficient, they will respect you more.
3. Focus on the good things:
There might be a lot of negative things happening all around us lately, however, when you choose to focus on the good, you are manifesting positive vibes for yourself and for people who are around you. While having a conversation with someone, you focus on what you “have”, instead of cribbing and complaining about what you don’t have. The people whom you interact with, are likely to identify your positive outlook and admire you for the same.
4. Be genuine in your approach:
People may lie, but the vibes that they give out most certainly don’t. When you are doing something or interacting with someone, make sure that your vibes towards them are genuine and authentic.
5. Compliment more than criticizing:
Everybody makes mistakes – instead of finding out the faults of other people, make sure that you are able to compliment them for their qualities. When you criticize, you get on the bad side of others – quite naturally and these people are unlikely to see you in a good light after that. On the other hand, when you praise someone for the good things that they have done, they feel pleased and this gives them a good impression of you.
6. Focus on conflict resolution directly:
If you are having any kind of conflict with an individual in a relationship or friendship, make sure that you are able to resolve the conflict directly without dragging it further and making the situation even more complicated. When you resolve the conflict headfirst, you cut off all loose ends in the matter and create a peaceful state for yourself.
Learn to give space to others: Do not act clingy or become overly dependent on others – learn to give space to people from time to time in order to have a balance in the dynamic that you share with them.
7. Learn to be empathetic to others:
Learn to be less self-centered and be empathetic to other people’s feelings and emotions. This will make them like you more.
8. Be curious:
When you are curious about everything that’s around you, you will interact with many more people who will provide you with the info and insights that are necessary. This will vastly expand your group of connections and give you more friends.
9. Stop judging people unnecessarily:
Think of a situation where other people are judging you. Certainly not pleasant, is it? The same goes for you judging other people unnecessarily – be it for their looks, social status, or other qualities.
10. Learn to stay calm:
Mastering your own thoughts and emotions is what makes you most powerful. Embark on the way to becoming the most powerful!
The first thing you should do when you feel that you are hard to love is to start loving yourself more than you used to – this tip will certainly help. Self-love and self-care is the first step to paving the way to becoming someone who is loved by others. We hope this article helps!