Being too nice sometimes pays off in the hard way.
Do believe that people in this world are, as gentle and positive as you are? Then it’s high time for you to modify your thoughts and read the other side of the big story.
This world is gradually becoming a dark place where kindness and positivity are rarely seen. Yes, that’s very unfortunate!
Yet we may get to see many nice people out there who try to take outshine that darkness. It’s an admirable quality of any person. Sadly, the world is turning out to be negative and selfish today. People are concerned about themselves and not their fellow men.
A kind person who does not have solid shells to shelter behind is going to find themselves worse off.
Now this does not mean that you should stop being nice if you are, or that you shouldn’t be nice in the very first place. It is just that you have to know when to close the door on a negative situation that might harm you.
Humanity should be seen for the paradox that it is – kind and cruel, compassionate and cold, charitable and selfish. So if you learn to balance these facets of human condition, only then will you be able to survive and live in a healthy manner.
Being too nice can actively damage one’s life, but an understanding of the challenges that comes in the path can keep one from being mistreated while one tries to put something positive into the world.
So, what is being too nice not always a good thing?
Here’s bringing you 10 reasons being too nice can be harmful for you:
1. People will try to take undue advantage of you.
A nice person can be like a cool breeze in the right circumstances. However, in the wrong circumstances, they can attract negative attention from people.
Being nice can be a barrier in competitive environments like the workplace and business, particularly if you start thinking that the person on the other side will treat you with just the exact amount of respect.
People who are looking for an edge will often grind nice people, because nice often coincides with being soft, especially if you’re living in an environment where nice does not really coincide with the normal way of conduct.
You can of course avoid such situation by knowing your environment and ensuring that your boundaries are solid. It’s absolutely fine to be well-mannered, polite, and professional so long as you can ensure that all your interests are secured.
2. People may not respect you or your boundaries.
People will quite often test your boundaries by pushing to see how much they can make their way into your space until you finally decide to push them back to prevent being mistreated.
Quite often, you will hear from them that you had actually misunderstood them and that, they didn’t mean it the way that they presented it or like they were just joking.
This is a common unscrupulous tactics that reveals a lot about the person one is interacting with.
Keep in mind that a genuine misunderstanding will include an apology and an attempt to rectify the behavior.
The people who walk it back are typically looking for weaknesses in your boundaries, which they will find sooner or later if allowed to poke around.
Hence to avoid this, you should maintain a safe distance from these people if you cannot remove them from your life altogether.
3. People will never strive to meet your needs.
Sadly most of the people in today’s world self-centered creatures purely driven by their own emotions and perspectives.
They might not be that empathetic towards other’s needs just because they may be genuinely unmindful about their own behavior or do not care.
Being assertive is a dire necessity for nice people; they must know how to communicate with people around them about their needs and expectations.
Many nice people do not wish themselves to be perceived as rude or unkind and in turn accept being treated poorly so as to not cause a disturbance.
The fact is sometimes you have to cause a disturbance.
4. You may forget to treat yourself well enough.
There are some people who devote much energy to being nice to others just as a form of self-medication; avoiding confrontation with their own problems. By doing this they will forget to take care of themselves.
Life is always chaotic and turbulent so there will always be ups and downs. Now, it’s extremely easy to get swayed away with the problems of other people.
But one fine day, you will look around and see that years have passed without making any eminent progress of your problems that would have allowed you to find mental peace and happiness.
Therefore, be nice to the world, if that’s what you want to be but don’t forget to treat yourself just as well as you treat others.
You too deserve to be happy, don’t you?
5. People will view you skeptically.
It’s not unusual for people to view unjustified niceness as suspicious behavior.
The world can indeed be callous place where unexpected niceness can make someone sense danger without anticipating it, especially at times when they can’t identify what your intentions.
People might also think that there is something wrong with you and that you’re trying to be nice just to exploit them or to mask an ulterior motive.
Be aware that you may experience this type of response and be prepared to deal with it ahead of time.
Also try to voice your intentions, if any, towards the other person and if you don’t, try to be patient with the person so that they get a chance to understand your motives and arrive at their comfort level.
Yes this is time taking but it will never stop you from being nice, will it? Definitely not.
6. Your perception of the world might get falsified.
A grounded perspective on the world we live in is very important for ensuring that a healthy and balanced mindset is being maintained.
Ideally, as a nice person, will find themselves surrounded by other nice and kind people as they erect and enforce their boundaries well. Predators and users tend to shy away from people who don’t allow themselves to get mistreated.
However, it can be really easy for anyone to lose sight of the rest of the world if the circle becomes too closed off.
We can care too much for people who might not respect us and reciprocate, and in turn hurt ourselves in the process.
It’s all right to surround yourself with nice people, but it’s not at all good to lose sight of the challenging nature of humanity and the world.
A majority of people are really looking after their own interests and self-preservation. Nice people too need to do that for themselves to some degree.
7. You may begin to resent the people you are nice to.
What happens when someone after getting much of upliftment and support from a kind person finally moves their mind into a better place and decides not to reciprocate when that nice person needs some support?
Quite naturally, that kind soul suffers from resentment.
Friendships and relationships are a different things altogether and both are supposed to be reciprocal and mutually beneficial in some way.
No one can constantly pour niceness and kindness into the cups of others without eventually depleting themselves. This process of depletion is much quicker if that person is a friend or a significant other who is not pouring back into us.
Resentment will eventually build up and that relationship will break down.
8. You may find yourself begging forgiveness for things that aren’t your fault.
Nice people face a lot of problem by shouldering emotions and problems and emotions that aren’t actually theirs just because they do not like to see other people’s misery. Thus, a nice person needs to be wary of that other person trying to shove their emotional responsibility onto them.
Its okay to accept responsibility for your own choices and actions, both positive and negative, but nice people must be careful about not taking on emotional baggages that belong to others.
This means, that you should apologize when you’ve done something wrong, but don’t apologize for things that are not your fault.
9. You might get overburdened with additional responsibilities.
Being too nice is a quick way to be saturated with an unmanageable amount of tangible responsibilities. You might also get volunteered for activities without anyone consulting you because they will automatically assume that you’ll agree to it, or you will be accepting more than your fair share of work.
People who are too nice and compassionate can be mishandled by others who do not care about their feelings, respect their time and their responsibilities.
“No”- is a complete sentence that nice people must learn and abide to.
There are times when it is necessary to provide additional justification, particularly if someone is trying to find a middle ground with people they are close to. But one does not needs to justify their ‘no’ to those who aren’t close to them or those who are always one step ahead to take advantage of them.
Justification just offers a manipulative person a chance to inject self-doubt and undermine your “no.”
10. You eventually end up attracting narcissists and manipulators.
Why do you think nice people attract narcissists, manipulators and users?
Predators choose nice people because they are often easy to steamroll, control, don’t ask the right questions at the right time, don’t establish boundaries and enforce them and have a hard time watching other people’s misery.
A commonly used manipulative technique is to paint oneself as the victim in this cruel world.
For instance- “All of my ex-partners were crazy!” or “Everyone is against me, no one supports me!”
An innocent person will feel bad for that person (manipulator) without scrutiny, not questioning their motives or inconsistencies. This puts them in a position to be misutilized.
The easiest way to avoid this is to pay careful attention, listen for inconsistencies and question them. You can definitely sympathize with another person’s story, but don’t let your emotions blur your judgment.
Innocence is a quality that this world is in dire need of at this moment, but at the same time it can cause unwanted turmoil in your life.
There are times when being nice is not the appropriate thing to do, particularly when it comes to protecting the sanctity of your personal space, peace of mind and happiness.
We all can and should strive to be nice and put that kindness into the world, but we must also learn to balance ensuring that we don’t get exploited and maltreated in the process.
Life is all about balance. Be nice to others but also take care of yourself.