Have you ever been in any kind of a relationship with a narcissist? Either romantically or because he/she belongs to your family? If not then consider yourself very fortunate!
Narcissism is one of the most noxious personality features a person has which can contribute to heavy damage of people around them. They are self-centered beings whose lives revolve around their own needs and wants, how much other people love them and how best to exploit other people to get them their own way.
Here are 8 instances of things that narcissists are incapable of doing for you or for anyone.
1. Empathize with you
Narcissists are the ones who will wound and destroy the lives of those closest to them more than the latter could ever imagine in their nightmares and they won’t even feel sorry about this- now that’s the most unfortunate part. They can’t.
They’re literally incapable of giving a damn about the immense pain they’re causing to their “supposed loved ones”. So until and unless those close to them distance themselves completely, the cycle of pain and assault will continue for the rest of the life.
However, those who choose to stay might get habituated with the fact that they’re not supposed to express their own emotions. They have to walk on the cliff edge to keep the narcissist happy, thereby abstaining from attacking them anyhow.
So if you ever gather all your courage to say that they hurt you, they’ll turn around and make you feel like as if you are the culprit and that you are the one who is upsetting them by saying so.
2. Be interested in your problems:
Yes, these self-loving people are seriously not concerned about our problems. Telling them about things which are bothering you in your personal life will be undoubtedly ignored and they’ll immediately assault you verbally about all the crappy things they’re dealing with. Your problems will sound boring to them and you will always feel that you are talking to the walls of your room.
If the subject doesn’t involve them or revolve around them, do you really think that they will be interested about the conversation? NO, NEVER. He/She isn’t a person you can go to for getting any sort of comfort or reassurance about anything.
For instance- Are you worried about any health crisis? Then you will find them talking about a slight scratch (they got) which is very painful and so much worse than anything you’re dealing with.
Everything should be about them all the time– so if you’re going to socialize with them at all, you might as well get used to that.
3. Make an apology:
If you ever try to corner a narcissist and force them to admit that they did a blunder towards you; don’t dare to expect that these people will apologize. Their very first reaction will be like trying to make you believe that you’re crazy or remembering things wrong i.e. complaining about your poor memory– this will be said just to brush away all the blames from their shoulders.
If this technique of gaslighting, doesn’t work, they’ll go on the defensive thereby redirecting the conversation to something you’ve done wrong- pointing the fingers towards you!
If by chance some miracle happens and you do get an apology, rest assured it’ll definitely be an insincere one. Think about these lines: “I’m SORRY, okay? Now will you shut up?” or “I’m sorry you’re so very sensitive that you misinterpreted everything I said or did.”
“Always remember, they never do anything wrong! There are epitomes of perfection and if you have an issue with something they’ve done to you, then the problem is YOU not THEM!”-this is the belief system which a narcissist has.
4. Make you feel good about yourself:
Narcissists love to shine by making other people’s life dark, especially in a public setting. They have an inclination towards befriending those they think are less attractive than they are so that become the ‘center of attention’ everywhere they go.
They are just amazing in mocking; making passive-aggressive remarks to their so-called friends. This belittling makes these self-admiring feel powerful and they crave for being at the top of the peak every single time– well, there are actually very few things in a narcissist’s dislike list.
Suppose-While out for a meal, a narcissist might comment on a person’s meal choice, exclaiming if they really need quite so many calories or considering how skin tight their clothes are. This will of course make the other person feel like hell in public, isn’t it?
Now if the targeted person gets upset, the narcissist will roll their eyes and accuse them of being over-sensitive and claiming that they had just cracked a joke out there!
5. Take liability of their actions:
A narcissist can never be at fault ever- Remember?
Any situation they’re involved in might have turned into hell because of someone else’s wrongdoing –not theirs c’mon! Then what about those past relationships that have failed miserably?
Well, that’s because they had dated some horrible humans who never truly loved or appreciated them. What about something that went badly at work? It’s because of their coworkers who are nothing less than incompetent imbeciles.
Narcissists cannot and will never take responsibility for any misdoings, because in their minds, they are always correct. They’re a bunch of ideal people, ideal worker and perfect partner/spouse! So if anything in their lives goes wrong, it’s literally everyone else’s fault in the world except their own. Get that? Beware.
6. Give you emotional support:
Making others feel the worst about themselves is what a narcissist can best do, so it’s better not to any kind of emotional support from them when you need it the most. If that narcissist is your romantic partner, be vigilant about the fact that controlling other people and making them feel powerless and helpless is a very common trait among these people.
Then, as soon as you become the powerless, helpless creature they’ve created, they’ll treat you with contempt for being fragile and needy.
7. Appreciate what you do for them:
If you’re romantically involved with a self loving person and making plans to take them out for dinner, have flowers delivered to the table and pick out a wine, etc. then better prepare yourself to be shat upon. Instead of showing any measure of gratitude, they’ll complain that they would have preferred another restaurant, the flowers aren’t their favorites and you should have ordered a different brand- because they love complaining and finding faults in you.
The bitter truth is that the emotions and thoughts behind your gestures of love and care do not matter to them at all; they only care about their wants and needs and everything you do will be wrong, without fail.
So, if they do effuse about something you’ve given them when they don’t really like it, you’ll now be able to tell that they’re purely faking it and rest assured that they will ask for something else they want within the next couple of hours.
8. Love you genuinely from the core of their heart:
Do you think a narcissist will love you?
Not really. Their love towards you will only revolve around what you can do for them, and how you make them feel!
Strikingly, if they do behave as though they really love you, then it’s a mere show-off so that people become amazed and impressed seeing your partner’s selfless love, care and devotion for you. As soon as the audience is gone, their attention and affection will vanish, and they’ll get back to their nasty, self-absorbed selves.
A romantic partnership with a narcissist can cause unfathomable emotional and psychological damage, so if you get to see any of these traits in a person you’re dating, be very careful because you’re actually swimming in dangerous waters and do take steps to protect yourself.
Find yourself a good therapist if you are related to One; the therapist will help you to deal with the anger, frustration and indignation that will inevitably sprout out from a familial relationship with this kind of abuser.
You will never win an argument with a narcissist, make them understand you and your perspective or have any kind of healthy relationship whatsoever. This is an everyday battle which you have to fight! It’s really tough and exhausting; but don’t lose hope!
You know who you are and what you are capable of doing. Do not wait for any sort of approval or judgment from these self-absorbed people.
Please do not hesitate to get some help and most importantly STAY STRONG!