Is your relationship truly healthy, or perhaps is it just smoke and mirrors?
It may be hard to allow yourself to see abuse happening within your relationship. Between denial and excusing others actions, it can be easy to let things go blindly. But at some point you must realize the emotional and physical toll an abusive relationship can have on a person. The main question you must ask yourself upon realization is;
“Is it time to leave, or can this be worked on?”
First and foremost, education of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is crucial, this will provide you with closure and a better understanding if the person you are dealing with happens to be a narcissist. For a better understanding self research can help as well as our previous blog; How to Identify a Narcissist. More importantly, seeking therapy can play a huge role in overcoming this abuse, granting an outlet to analyze your feelings and help you to better understand your situation and mental state.
However, keep in mind, not everyone’s situation is the same, if the narcissistic abuser happens to be a parent or employer the decision to leave may not be available. Fortunately, there are ways to work on coping with their behavior, or helping them to change if they are open to it.
Key Signs You May Be Dealing With Narcissistic Abuse
- You put aside your own personal values to please this person
Narcissists have a slick way of constantly getting what they want from their victims. Using various manipulation tactics in order to derail a conversion that does not favor them. For instance, you state “I feel that you have not been respecting my boundaries”, the narcissist will become quickly flustered and most likely state you are overeating. Moreover, they will use confusion and irrelevance in order to confuse the victim and ultimately dismantle the whole conversation causing the victim to give up. This reaction will often occur any time the victim voices the way they feel, yet in order to please the abuser and keep things civil they will set aside their values and please the abuser.
- You have become isolated from friends and family
Frequently in narcissistic relationships, the narcissist will dismantle your bonds with others that are close to you. They do this to prevent others from giving you input on the relationship and to maintain control and authority over the victim, further empowering their ego. When it comes to others who have views that differ from the narcissist and/or do not favor the narcissist’s greater good, they will quickly begin feeding the victim lies about this person, gaslighting, and manipulating them into dropping said person from their life. The narcissist brainwashes the victim to be completely submissive and any person who jeopardizes the false reality they have created will be pushed out of the victim’s life.
- You fear if you do not obey, they will leave or rage
In many cases, when the victim voices their opinions or feelings the narcissist will respond with immediate rage, again, especially if it differs from their views or jeopardizes their ego. Many narcissists will often threaten to leave if you do not do as they please, and in most cases the victim will inevitably comply with the abuser because they have been beaten down and developed a toxic codependency and will do anything to obey the abuser in fear of abandonment.
- You often blame yourself their actions or behavior