Then, openly talk to your partner about what’s causing the distance. Is it his or her long hours at work? A lingering hurt? Lack of affection?
Many therapists recommend confessing your emotional affair. In most cases I agree, but how and whether you decide to do this depends on what will be most caring and helpful to your partner. At the very least, I suggest that patients lovingly communicate, “I’ve been sharing my feelings more with a friend than I have with you. This doesn’t feel right. I want us to be closer.”
Or you can acknowledge that you’ve crossed a line and how far you’ve crossed it. Use your intuition as a guide for how much you want to share.
But be prepared for your partner’s hurt and angry feelings. Listen without getting defensive. Then, together or with a therapist, begin to address where you’ve grown apart or shut down. Despite great pain, soul mates have what it takes to withstand difficulty until things are resolved.
It may take time, awareness, and love, but with bonds as strong as these, I know it’s possible.
Originally Published on drjudithorloff.com | Reprinted here with permission
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