Some people desire to be loved, adored, and wanted by others so deeply that often they seek out the comfort of being in a relationship with someone even though it might not be a perfect relationship. People desire to be in a relationship for a wide multitude of reasons – they feel secure while being in a relationship, they feel protected by their better half, and of course, it is always a great feeling to have someone understand you because very often, we feel misunderstood by our near and dear ones. It is essential to have someone in your life that is affectionate towards you, regardless of any difficult situation or any harsh circumstance that you might be facing, and who is better than your better half, your partner – to give you company?
Relationships are essentially built so that we do not remain lonely – however, the harsh truth is that even while being in a relationship, even while being with someone we love, we might experience feelings of loneliness. As it has been seen, being lonely is not necessarily associated with being alone. You might be alone and not feel lonely, on the other hand – you may not be alone but be attacked by frequent bouts of loneliness from time to time. Why does this happen? Why, despite being in a relationship, do you feel so very lonely deep inside? Let us look into the answers to this now.
Why are you feeling alone in the relationship in the first place?
1. Lack of effective communication:
This can be on either your end, your partner’s end, or both of you are to be blamed for this. You might keep your thoughts to yourself when you have a deep fear of being judged by your partner. Factors like physical distance also play a key role here. When you and your partner are not in physical proximity with each other, it will not necessarily be a smooth ride for you when it comes to communicating with each other effectively. This will lead to a mental and emotional distance between you two as well.
This is one of the biggest mental health issues that one is facing in the present times. When you are anxious, you are likely to worry unnecessarily about the outcomes of anything and everything that you do and think negatively about what everybody else is thinking about you. Anxiety gives you a negative self-image and it is anything but pretty.
Another major health issue that bugs the present generation, depression is not a comfortable condition to have either – depression rots you inside and deprives you of the ability to function efficiently in your day-to-day life. And if you are feeling depressed about your relationship, it is unlikely that you will be able to open up to your partner anytime soon.
4. Lack of clarity:
It is often a common scenario that when you are not sure about the next stage of your relationship or at what point your relationship should culminate, you lose your hopes in even keeping the relationship intact. You lose your vision of how exactly your relationship should be, and instead think about ending things. When these sort of negative thoughts build up in your head, you feel lonely and do not feel like your partner is someone you have a future with, or should share life with.
5. Lack of intimacy:
Physical intimacy is an important aspect of any romantic relationship – and when you are unable to have a proper intimate relationship with each other, no wonder it affects the romantic dynamic that you two share. Or situations might arise where you just go about having the motions without actually being in the right frame of mind to enjoy anything about the physical intimacy that you share. This can doom your relationship in a severely detrimental way.
Perhaps you two have tried to work things out between yourselves several times in the past, but it has been of no use. You two simply do not have that understanding between each other, in other words – you two are not compatible with each other, your wavelengths do not match. In cases like these, hoping for your relationship to work is a rather fruitless endeavor.
7. Social Media:
This is a situation where neither of the partners is to be blamed. Perhaps your relationship is working out well and good- suddenly you go through posts on social media where you see a “happier” couple who seem to be enjoying life more than you two are. This can give rise to jealousy – which will further lead to disagreements, fights, and ultimately resentment between you two. In cases like these avoiding social media for certain time spans can prove to be fruitful.
The loneliness of one or both the partners in the relationship is never a good signal. It can be indicative of the fact that either you two are not “right” for each other, that is, the relationship is not meant to be, or you two definitely have some sort of a communication gap between each other.
In case you two still want to give your relationship a try and think that it’s worth it, you can take the help of the following tips which will help you to get rid of loneliness while being in a relationship.
What to do when you feel lonely in a relationship?
a) Speak up: It is very important in a relationship to speak up, in order to let your partner know about your likes and dislikes and what makes you comfortable or otherwise. In case you are feeling lonely even while being with your partner, it is imperative that you let them know about the same.
b) Be a good listener: Whilst letting your partner know about your viewpoint and thoughts, it is also necessary that you listen to what they have to say. When you speak up and listen, only then do you effectively communicate.
c) Build a life outside of the relationship: While being in a relationship, you must remember not to make the relationship your entire world. In other words, have other interests in the outside world – be it pursuing new skills, hobbies, or spending time with friends and family members.
d) Take therapy if needed: Sometimes seeking out professional help is the best solution to end conflicts and misunderstandings in a relationship when everything else fails.
It is quite normal to feel lonely from time to time even while being in a relationship, especially when the initial “honeymoon period” in the relationship is over. However we must not get consumed by the feeling of loneliness, we must not let ourselves drown in it. We hope the above tips help you!