Obsessive patterns in relationships can include constantly thinking about someone, continually checking your phone to see if he/she texted, ruminating about what this person is doing or not doing, and feeling afraid of losing the person. Bonding with a partner is a natural part of getting to know someone and of falling in love. But getting overly attached goes beyond healthy bonding and is disempowering. When you truly love someone you’re not interested in possessing the person or keeping him or her in your clutches because you’re afraid of losing the relationship. Instead, you respect your partner’s autonomy and spirit. Obsessive / possessive relationships can be very painful. Take the following quiz to determine if you have obsessive patterns.
|1. Do people avoid you or glaze over during a conversation?||Yes||No|
|2. Are you self-obsessed?||Yes||No|
|3. Are you often negative?||Yes||No|
|4. Do you gossip or bad-mouth people?||Yes||No|
|5. Are you critical or controlling?||Yes||No|
|6. Are you a drama queen or king?||Yes||No|
|7. Do you corner people and tell them your life’s story?||Yes||No|
|8. Are you in an emotional black hole, but won’t get help?||Yes||No|
How to interpret this quiz:
- 6-8 yeses indicate that you are extremely overly attached.
- 3-5 yeses indicate that you are moderately overly attached.
- 1-3 yeses indicate that you have a tendency to overly attach.
- A score of zero indicates that you have healthy bonding with your partner.
This quiz is excerpted from The Power of Surrender by Judith Orloff MD(Learn more about how to develop healthy relationships in Chapter 6)
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