Are You In an Obsessive Relationship? Quiz

Are You In an Obsessive Relationship? Quiz
Photo by Milan Popovic on Unsplash

Obsessive patterns in relationships can include constantly thinking about someone, continually checking your phone to see if he/she texted, ruminating about what this person is doing or not doing, and feeling afraid of losing the person. Bonding with a partner is a natural part of getting to know someone and of falling in love. But getting overly attached goes beyond healthy bonding and is disempowering. When you truly love someone you’re not interested in possessing the person or keeping him or her in your clutches because you’re afraid of losing the relationship. Instead, you respect your partner’s autonomy and spirit. Obsessive / possessive relationships can be very painful. Take the following quiz to determine if you have obsessive patterns.

1. Do people avoid you or glaze over during a conversation? Yes No
2. Are you self-obsessed? Yes No
3. Are you often negative? Yes No
4. Do you gossip or bad-mouth people? Yes No
5. Are you critical or controlling? Yes No
6. Are you a drama queen or king? Yes No
7. Do you corner people and tell them your life’s story? Yes No
8. Are you in an emotional black hole, but won’t get help? Yes No

How to interpret this quiz:

  • 6-8 yeses indicate that you are extremely overly attached.
  • 3-5 yeses indicate that you are moderately overly attached.
  • 1-3 yeses indicate that you have a tendency to overly attach.
  • A score of zero indicates that you have healthy bonding with your partner.

This quiz is excerpted from The Power of Surrender by Judith Orloff MD(Learn more about how to develop healthy relationships in Chapter 6)


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Written by Dr. Judith Orloff

Judith Orloff, MD is the New York Times best-selling author of The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People. Her new book Thriving as an Empath offers daily self-care tools for sensitive people along with its companion The Empath’s Empowerment Journal. Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist, an empath, and is on the UCLA Psychiatric Clinical Faculty. She synthesizes the pearls of traditional medicine with cutting edge knowledge of intuition, energy, and spirituality. Dr. Orloff also specializes in treating highly sensitive, empathic people in her private practice. Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, Oprah Magazine, the New York Times. Dr. Orloff has spoken at Google-LA and has a popular TEDX talk. Her other books are Thriving as an Empath: 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People, The Empowered Empath’s Journal, Emotional Freedom and Guide to Intuitive Healing. Explore more information about her Empath Support Online course and speaking schedule on

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