“To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.”
—Doménico Cieri Estrada
Do you feel the honeymoon phase of your relationship is fading out?
Do you feel your partner’s behavior is hindering your personal space?
Do you feel that your life is being controlled by your partner?
If so, then you need to shed light on your relationship because relationships are based on mutual trust, understanding, and an inner sense of regard for one another. Care and concern for your partner are natural but learn to draw the line between exerting control over your partner to satisfy your ego and your affections towards them.
To identify subtle signs of controlling behavior you need to realize whether you are in a controlling relationship.
Signs of a Controlling Behaviour
Here are some signs that indicate you are in a controlling relationship.
- Controlling people gradually controls you by influencing your decision making powers in life.
- They build up a web of the facade over you and break down your self-confidence.
- You start doubting your basic skills which previously had your commands rather than seeking approval from your partner.
- Feelings of being trapped under your partner’s whim and control.
If these red flags are prevailing in your relationship then you need to get out of this controlling relationship before it becomes toxic.
Find out these ways to get out of a controlling relationship.
8 Ways to getting out of a controlling relationship.
1. Make them realize your worth
There is an innate tendency in a controlling person to ignore your feelings and they tend to underestimate you by discarding your suggestions as silly thereby reducing your self-esteem.
To make them realize your worth it is important for them to realize that your presence and suggestions are useful and no one else is capable of doing the way you do.
2. Do not let them grab a hold on your life.
During the initial phases of a relationship, controlling people establishes their dominion over you by providing suggestions over trivial matters. Gradually these ‘healthy’ suggestions get converted into throwing instructions on you.
To prevent it, do not accept blindly whatever advice they offer you. Instead, discuss your problems with them, wait for their opinions but decide what you think to be correct for you.
By doing this they would get a hint that you are not a person who would abide by their words in every situation.
3. Learn to set up healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are an integral part of a relationship. You need to create proper boundaries between yourself and your partner.
If you are dealing with a controlling partner then setting up healthy boundaries can inflict less damage to your life and relationship.
Be assertive in your opinions and do not allow your partner to break the shield of your deep personal zone.
By doing this from the very beginning, your controlling partner will treat you as a strong person and will not mistake you as a fragile soul.
4. Keep a circle of friends in life
Friends are our ‘constants’ in life. They are ceaseless companions throughout our life journey. Having a proper group of friends adds colors to our everyday monotonous life.
After getting into a relationship people often make a common mistake that they lose contact with their band of ‘close friends’. This gives a luxurious benefit to your controlling partner and insinuates them to fill the void of friendship in your life with their hidden intentions.
Not to let this happen, enjoy the company of your friends. Make occasional ‘hangouts’ to various places and keep updating your social media posts. This will make the controlling person feel that you have people other than him/her with whom you can stay happy.
5. Enjoy your ‘Me’ time
It is ‘okay’ to spend time with yourself. Engaging into some self-indulging activities like reading, writing, listening to music, and adventure sports rejuvenates your soul.
Steal some time from your partner and enjoy some ‘me’ time. This will help both of the partners to introspect about yourself and will resolve conflicts easily.
This works as a useful tool to distance yourself from your controlling partner.
6. Do not let their anger overpower you
‘Anger’ is a strong weapon commonly used by controlling people. When they fail to persuade you or guide your life through their affectionate gestures and manipulative words they feel frustrated. As a result, they display their ulterior motives through temper tantrums and anger outbursts.
It is extremely difficult to deal with their anger. It comes as a challenge for you to stay firm with your point of view and not to give in.
7. Do not fall prey to their threats
It is suffocating to sustain a controlling relationship. You feel shackles of domination around your neck every time. Gradually your relationship turns toxic for your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Before it takes every bit of your soul it is good to cut off the controlling relationship. This will not be easy because controlling people will not even let you go as you wish.
They will try all possible ways to stop you. They will lead you by using their menacious charm and convincing skills. Failing to do this, they will threaten you of committing suicide and make you feel guilty.
You have to deal patiently and maturely and make them understand the bitter sides of continuing the relationship.
8. Prioritize your needs and happiness
Your controlling relationship should not be a barrier to your needs and happiness. Learn to identify your needs and make your life a priority.
Don’t get swayed by the emotional manipulation of controlling people because they have mastered this art of manipulation.
Relationships are a two- way reciprocation. A broken relationship will make your heart singed but a controlling relationship will cut your wings, leaving you physically and mentally shattered.
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