The good news is that you can experience this for yourself – you don’t have to believe one iota of what I’m saying. And the gateway to experiencing the reality that your sense of “you” is not real is through meditation.
If you’d like to take a tentative step in this direction, I recommend practicing mindfulness meditation and downloading a free app like InsightTimer (which is what I use). There are thousands of free meditations on this app, and to help narrow your focus, you might like to start with the mindfulness meditations that are available.
Later in this article, I’ll explore how to prevent your ego from possessing you. But in the meantime, you might like to open in a new tab or browser window the following articles to read later:
15 Signs You’re Struggling With Self-Loathing
How can it be “happy hour” if I spend the entire time crying tears of self-loathing & despair into my $1.50 beer?
Pay attention to these signs (some of them are surprising and lesser-known than the others):
- Extremely harsh self-talk (“I’m stupid” “What a loser I am”)
- Depression and/or anxiety
- Feeling chronically insecure around others
- Slouched/poor posture
- Neglecting your body and health
- Self-sabotage and self-destruction (not allowing yourself to be happy)
- Anger issues
- Refusing compliments, advice, or help
- Addiction/addictive tendencies
- Feeling like a victim all the time
- Defeatist mindset (“what’s the point”)
All of these behaviors and tendencies, inevitably, result in self-loathing.
How to Overcome Self-Loathing (There is Hope)
How has it come about that we are so bewitched by our self-hatred, so impressed and credulous in the face of our self-criticism, as unimaginative as it usually is? … Self-criticism, when it isn’t useful in the way any self-correcting approach can be, is self-hypnosis. It is judgement as spell, or curse, not as conversation; it is an order, not a negotiation; it is dogma, not overinterpretation.
– Adam Phillips
By now a sense of frustration, desperation or grief may be welling up inside of you.
Not only do you feel tormented by your self-loathing, but you also feel victimized by it as well.
Well, the truth is that you are being victimized by your self-hatred. But you don’t have to stay a victim forever.
You’ve already taken the first step in the direction of health and wellbeing without even knowing it. (Well done by the way.) Next, it’s time to step out of the role of victim and into the role of warrior.
Here are some tried-and-tested ways to overcome self-loathing.:
1. Get the hell off social media
You heard me. Take a break from social media – a detox as they fashionably put it these days – and set your goal for 30 days. If that seems too long, try one week with no social media. I’m talking no facebook, no instagram, no twitter, no pinterest – none of it.
If you have to uninstall a hoard of apps, do it. If you have to shove your laptop under the bed, do it. Go hermit mode. Say sayōnara to the constant notification dings and stream of other people’s mental vomit. You’ll be happy you did.