Being in a relationship is something most of us look forward to, we all want to be in the company of somebody whom we can love and appreciate. We expect our better half to be kind and appreciative of us as well, someone who loves and respects us and is a source of constant support in our lives. However, if the relationship you are in does not prove to be a source of happiness or satisfaction for you – instead, all your partner is doing is bringing you down in the dumps, it might be time for you to reconsider. Are you at a juncture in your life where you are thinking about whether you want to be with your partner any longer?
If you are tired of dealing with toxic relationships in your life time and again, and want to break free from the loop – first of all, you have to know that in spite of all of the hurts and disappointments that you feel owing to your toxic relationship, the upside to it would be the amount of experience and life lessons that you gain out of it. So, don’t be unhappy because of your toxic relationship, be happy that you learned something out of it!
A toxic relationship teaches us a lot. I will discuss below,
Things that I learned from the toxic relationships in my life:
1. I got to know what a red flag in a relationship looks like:
Very often, I ignored red flags in my relationship, doubting my own beliefs and sanity. This is probably the worst form of self-sabotage and I caused harm to myself in the worst possible way when I did this. A red flag in a relationship is a clear indication that something is wrong with the relationship and things are not working out between the two. What can be considered to be a red flag in a relationship? For instance, if he talks about his ex a lot, chances are that he is not over his ex. If he has a bad relationship with his family members and has a constant conflict with them, chances are that he is not willing to adjust when it comes to you as well.
2. I realized the difference between true and toxic love:
A toxic person is someone who is always needy and demanding, and all a person feels is tired, constantly keeping up with their needs. They are individuals who are not willing to either listen or empathize with their partner at any point in time. They are always talking about their own problems and telling their partner to help them out, but when the partner wants to discuss the issues that they themselves are facing, they inevitably turn a deaf ear every single time.
3. I got to know what not to do the next time:
Very often, when an individual is caught in a cycle of toxic relationships, he/she fail to realize that his/her very own actions have led us to such situations in the first place. When I accepted my partner’s toxic behavior, all I did was indirectly enable them – this encouraged them further to continue such behavior. While being part of such relationships, I also forget to take care of myself because I was so preoccupied with fulfilling the needs and demands of my partner. Without self-care and self-love, it is impossible to be happy with anything that we do, and the sooner we realize this vital truth, the better for us.
4. I understood the difference between consent and coercion:
When sex and sexual activities happen due to forcing and coercion, they no longer bring us pleasure but turn out to be boring and monotonous activities. If your partner forces you to do anything that you are not comfortable with, it is clear that they do not respect your boundaries and are willing to do literally anything to satisfy themselves and get their own way.
5. I got to know what I want from a partner:
In a toxic relationship, my partner exhibited traits that I don’t want – they have been domineering, controlling, and overly possessive. So, the next time I get involved with someone, I will know exactly what I want in a partner.
6. I realized how strong I am:
Being in a toxic relationship left me feeling overburdened and drained out of energy completely. The bad experiences I had with other people made me realize how strong I am as an individual.
7. When it’s time, I had to let go:
Holding on to a toxic relationship, just because I wanted to be in a relationship and am terrified of being left alone is the worst thing I did to myself. The moment you realize that the relationship is not working out, you have to gradually undertake the mental preparation to let go of the relationship for your own good in the long run. Holding on to a relationship where you are not happy will result in a wastage of valuable time and resources for us and only lead to further discontentment for you.
8. Being in one’s own company is better than being in the company of a toxic person:
When I finally let go of a toxic person, I realized what I had been missing out on for so long – my own company. Being in one’s own company is definitely a peaceful prospect where you are no longer answerable to someone for everything that you do, you no longer have to explain each and every step that you take or deal with someone complaining constantly. Letting go of people like these is the best way for you in order to attain peace and stability.
We learn a lot from the toxic relationships in our life. We have to stay mindful of our own behavior at all times as well because at times we behave in a toxic manner as well. If you feel that you are stuck in a toxic relationship for a long time, do not worry. You still have a way out and choose a better life for yourself. Let go of toxic relationships in your life – it will be difficult at first, but gradually over time, you will realize that you have taken the right decision. Don’t be afraid and choose a happy life for yourself.
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