Building a relationship takes time, and a considerable amount of effort, from both partners. A relationship is not always easy for two individuals to be in, it requires them both to put in the effort, and chip in with their hard work to make it a lasting one. A relationship also requires compromise and enough understanding from both partners so that they can deal with the common arguments and misunderstandings that might flare up occasionally in a rational manner with a cool head. While it might not always be hunky-dory, you must be the one to make sure that the balance remains a constant factor in the relationship.
We all make mistakes in life, and then make amends to rectify our mistakes. However, we must always take care to not let our mistakes go too far, in that case, there might be no point of no return. We must make sure to choose our actions and words both, with the utmost responsibility.
If your partner does something that really upsets you, and you can take time off the relationship for some time, to have some space for yourself and think things through with a clear head. After all, this is a fundamental step in self-care, and even if you think you are hurting their feelings in some way or another, you must prioritize your own mental peace and well-being here. If they still wish to stay with you and keep the relationship going, you have to test them before you can be sure that they deserve to be taken back in your life.
Here are some ways you can test someone in order to see whether they really deserve a place in your life as your partner:
1. See if they have acknowledged their mistake:
The first step on the part of the wrongdoer is to admit their fault, is to acknowledge the fact that they have, in fact, made a mistake. They must accept the truth that they have indeed done something to hurt you. This might sound a rather simple thing to do, but some people’s pride can be their ruin and these people will never admit that they have actually offended or hurt you through their actions. They might even try to brush it off as a trivial issue unless you really rub it in their face that how much this has impacted you. Make sure that your partner owns up first and accepts their mistakes.
2. An apology on their part:
After they have acknowledged their mistake, it is essential for them to own up to it by apologizing for the same. If they have made you feel not-so-great, and go through some not-so-nice emotions, they need to apologize without you reminding them about it. No matter what, this should be the ideal scenario. However, it always doesn’t work that way – in fact, most of the time it doesn’t. Do not go overboard to make THEM feel better about themselves once they have apologized – look if they really mean it. A half-hearted apology is no good for anybody. Also, remember that you cannot go back to change your stance once you have accepted their apology – they will expect things to get back to a normal post. Think things through before each and every step.
3. Can you work together on your relationship?:
Post this, not only your partner has to make compromises in their behavior, you have to be equally accommodating so that you two can work things out together in your relationship. While your partner needs to work on building the trust back between you two, you have to work on the communication – you must share your feelings with them and let them know your state of mind at different points of time.
4. Is your partner showing remorse?
Actions scream way louder than words do and while apologizing is the first step towards building back your relationship, your partner’s actions are what will reveal their true motives. If apology builds the base for the union, heartfelt actions on their part are what will truly help them to get you back the way they want to. An empty apology essentially means that they will show no sign of guilt, despite telling a few words on your face. If they are genuinely remorseful, they will change for the better and take care not to repeat their actions.
5. You feel that you can trust them:
This is one of the most difficult steps, and post this, you can be sure that your relationship will be more or less smooth sailing. If you find that your partner is committed enough, they are looking to compromise and change themselves, if they are open to having solid conversations about the real underlying issues that you two may have, and are patient enough, you can reciprocate.