While no relationship is perfect (we are sure you have heard this a ridiculous number of times from your friends, peers, and acquaintances), it is important that you work on building the relationship together in case you decide to get in a committed relationship with another person. Love and relationships do not work as they show in the movies, not quite.
True, a soul-deep connection is all that we are looking for and while the feeling that we have met our true soulmate can be one of the greatest feelings in life ever, we must make sure that we work on developing a long, lasting relationship with this person.
In reality, the relationship is not all smiles, happiness, and laughter at all times. There are various ways in which being in a relationship can be actually difficult and challenging and we have to deal with the issues that pop up with a calm head and a clear mind. We bring to you reasons why relationships are so hard.
1. You make decisions together, as a single unit:
No wonder there are certain decisions which you have to take on your own, but when it comes to doing things together and making the final call that involves both of your interests, you have to agree on certain things and even make compromises in specific areas because you two are building a life together. Your travel plans have to be cohesive, they have to involve activities that both of you enjoy doing, the locations you choose to visit will have to be mutually decided by both of you.
The major life decisions have to be taken mutually as well-examples include at what point in time do you want to get married, if you want to have kids (and how many) etc. Disagreements while making decisions are quite normal and it is important that you acknowledge each other’s point of view and come to a conclusion that you both agree on.
2. You have to deal with their expectations, and your own:
Expectations can take a toll on both partners in the relationship because very often circumstances can arise such that both people find their expectations remain unfulfilled. We often have a “vision” of the things that we want out of our relationship, and when that does not happen, we find ourselves feeling rather disappointed. Our expectations have the potential to bring our entire relationship down simply because we get stuck with these thoughts in our head from time to time.
The “perfect” relationship does not exist, and it is quite natural that the exciting first dates and encounters on the first date will give way to monotonous times and the boredom of routine and regularity. In order to not sabotage your relationship, try to have as few expectations as possible, also do not compare yourselves with other couples, because you might be facing different circumstances and have different viewpoints as well.
3. People come with their own baggage from the past:
During the course of the relationship, you will discover that not all is hunky-dory with your partner. Moments might come up when they open up to you about their past traumas, either voluntarily or involuntarily when something reminds them of what they have left behind. Past traumatic events may include childhood abuse, sexual abuse, or simply an abusive ex-partner who has harmed them in several ways.
All these baggage that you or your partner carry into your present relationship will ultimately bring you no good. While it is not easy to forget the painful past in our lives, the best we can do is live in the present, live in the moment. We can take lessons from the mistakes we have made in the past and not repeat them again.