“ A husband and wife may disagree on many things but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.”
We get so skeptical when it comes to choosing even the tiniest things. When planning to choose between dresses, we take so much time. When it comes to choosing a partner for life, isn’t it obvious that we should invest tons of time deciding the factors that should be discussed before marriage?
There are a lot of things that need to be clarified before that dreamy day. You might be seeing your partner for so many years but still have doubts lingering in your mind about finalizing everything for the last time before taking the big step.
Marriage is a big decision that involves a lifetime commitment and a bunch of promises to keep.
You would get to live with each other for the rest of your life. It is a lifelong promise that widens your horizons and the purpose of existence on this earth. It is not only a physical union but a blend of spiritual and emotional connections.
How to choose a person to marry?
You need to have a convenient reference guide in your mind, the things that you always wanted to discuss with your partner, but couldn’t due to some reasons. We have penned you down the key factors before choosing a life partner.
The following things need to be discussed with that person, so read carefully.
When looking for a partner you need to know that the “happily ever after” thing isn’t achieved in one day. Relationships should work both ways.
1. Focus on your shared values:
Ask the person what values does he believe in? Is he even interested in your beliefs? You need to clarify them.
Believes include your way of living, thinking about people, gender equality ( this is crucial if your partner has a firm trust in patriarchy and anti-feminism, then slowly after marriage, you will get to see things change, that might go against you, or maybe things could turn upside down), freedom, individuality, loyalty, integrity, and adjustment.
2. Share your relationship goals before wedlock:
When you decide to marry someone, the most vital thing is love and trust values between each other. Before taking the final step, you need to know that your partner truly loves you and confides in you. Ask your partner whether he counts on you, trusts you, and has faith in you. Not only the partnership but also friendship values should be strong enough to hold you up in odd times.
3. Money talk is vital:
Stop living in denial. Money is important to survive and to live. You don’t need a plethora of wealth, but understanding and proper planning on how and where to invest them. Ask your partner if he relies on you for monetary issues. Both of you should have an economic backup to pass through tough times. Ask your partner if he would stand by you in your rough times too.
4. Your partner’s strengths and weaknesses:
We are mortal human beings and we do have things that strengthen us as well as weaken us. Your partner should share with you both his sides because both the lighter and the darker parts make us what we are. We need not hide anything. Confess your parts and let the opposite do the same.
5. Family and parenting goals:
Parenting is a challenging yet joyful experience like nothing else. Considering your would-be marriage, you should talk about family planning in advance. It is a crucial part of our life. Having babies is good, but the correct time and planning need discussions. I have seen personally, many couples not wanting to have a baby at a particular time, maybe due to career pressure or undesirable pregnancy. Whatever it is, you should definitely take this into account.
6. Talk about shared resentment:
Some couples love to go hiking, some enjoy traveling while some enjoy a picnic and others love long drives for refreshment. If you have anything in particular, should talk about it. Not only your partner will come to know new things but you might get to know his desires too.
7. Set up career plans:
As soon as you step into a new life, you have to take responsibility for your new family. To do that, proper career discussions should be brought up. Being economically strong is a necessity now, but proper planning and decisive skills can add wings to it. It gives you a much-needed direction and makes it clear, where you see yourself in the future. It makes you aware of your skills and knowledge that are required to achieve both of your goals in the millennium
Why are these conversations important?
Don’t fear these conversations. This has to be spoken about. It would also enable you to know the insights of your partnership to date, and could even out the mental troubles that the opposite partner might be having too. These things add momentum to a relationship.
Successful marriage stories portray the good and healthy choices we make regarding our spouse.