If you find yourself deeply and hopelessly in love with someone, and yet not find the same level of appreciation from the person you consider to be so special in your life, you can take a few moments to rethink all the facts and circumstances surrounding the situation. What you should never do is be so blind or see the world through rose-colored glasses in such a manner that it makes you lose your sense of rationality or clear thinking. If you think that your romantic advances are not being reciprocated in the manner that you would like to, perhaps it is time for you to think things through.
“What if my love is unrequited? What if the person I love doesn’t love me back?” questions like these can bug your mind quite frequently, and there might be times that you feel so stupefied by questions like these because the person you have so much liking for, so much of affection for, and the one you have put up on a pedestal in your mind might not even share the same liking for you.
Chances are, you might not even know yourself if you are in unrequited love. Below mentioned are some sure signs of unrequited love and the solutions as to what you can do about it:
1. You find yourself doing things for them but do not get anything more than a “Thanks” in return:
We are mere humans, after all, we do things for other people in hope of acknowledgment, in the hope of getting something substantial back in return. However, if the response of the person you are doing so much for, is a mere “Thank you”, or a courteous “Thanks”, it’s best that you reconsider your actions, think through whether you should invest so much in a person who would not even reciprocate your feelings in the slightest way.
2. They are on your mind but not the other way around:
You find yourself constantly wondering about their whereabouts- sometimes it can even be involuntary, but they seem to take a more casual, carefree approach while dealing with you and never seem to be quite interested in what you are doing.
3. You constantly find yourself stalking them, both physically and on social media:
It is unfortunate if you find yourself around them most of the time and do not even have valid excuses for the same. While it is completely okay to want to hang out and spend time with the person you desire so much, be careful enough to not get obsessed with the idea of the same. Another thing you must avoid doing is regularly checking up on them via their social media accounts.
4. You find yourself worked up by feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and over possessiveness:
This can especially happen if you find the other person spending a considerable amount of time with another person who (may or may not) have a special place in their life. The speculations, the anxiety can take a heavy toll on you. Moreover, you can further get weighed down by negative feelings like jealousy about the same. You can even become overly possessive.about this person and this can come as a rude shock to them since they clearly don’t feel the same way about you.
5. You are the one continuously initializing conversations with them:
Why do they never seem to be interested in talking to you? If you are the one having to initialize contact first, and that too, at all times, you might reconsider being in the state that you are in because clearly your feelings and your interest towards them remain unreciprocated.
6. You feel anxious thinking that they will leave you:
If you find your mind getting bugged by thoughts of them leaving you at any random time and then feeling shocked and stupefied by those feelings, chances are high that you are not receiving the same amount of love, affection, and adoration that you think you deserve from them.
7. You have conversations with them in your head:
More often than not, you find yourself stuck in imaginary situations and conversations with the person you love. This is one of the sure signs of infatuation, and the love being unreciprocated.
8. You look at them through rose-colored glasses:
The person you are so madly in love with can do no wrong for you. In your eyes, this human being is the epitome of perfection and possibly can’t make any human mistakes. This is a very wrong approach to have, especially when it comes to matters of relationships. To err is human, and no one in the world is perfect.
9. Did you ever have to hear, “It’s not you, it’s me”?
If the love of your life says something of this sort to you, things are clearly not quite right. Chances are that either thing has gone completely haywire, or the person didn’t have feelings for you in the first place and want to get rid of you with as little guilt as possible. This is also a sign of them indicating that it’s actually YOU, not THEM.
10. Your identity, well-being, and happiness depend on them:
If their love and their actions towards you define your sense of individual identity, your well-being, and them leaving you would lead to a severe existential crisis for you, then you have put yourself in the worst possible situation for yourself. Instead of being stuck up in certain scenarios that might seem impossible to happen, you can focus on self-love, work on your self-confidence, and self-image. After all, you deserve your own love and affection first, and the most amount of love you have, should be for yourself.
What can I do about unrequited love?
You might wonder. You might find yourself stuck in this unprecedented situation where you have grown feelings for them and are rather helpless now. Here are the things that you can do to grow out of unrequited love with someone:
1. Forgive yourself:
It was not any fault on your part to fall in love with them, because sometimes in life, who we develop feelings for, and that too unconsciously, is not our hands. After the realization dawns on you that the love you have for the person is unrequited, it might naturally lead to heartbreak for you. Don’t blame yourself for the situation that you find yourself in, focus on moving on. Forgive yourself for falling for the wrong person, let yourself grieve.
2. Don’t get personal:
It is quite easy to take things personally if you realize that your feelings are not reciprocated. However, keep in mind, it might not really be you, chances are, they might be going through a rough patch in their life, they might have had a bad break up with their long time partner, they might be dealing with their own personal crisis. So, its important that you take things easy and not personally.
3. Tell yourself, you deserve better:
We do not always get the things that we wish for, and it is for the best that you pull yourself out of this one-sided love. After all, if someone doesn’t love you back when you love them, you can’t possibly be with this person. You deserve better things in your life.
4. Focus on building yourself back, piece by piece:
One-sided love might have made you fall apart, however, it is the responsibility on your part to grow out of it and build your broken self back. You can indulge in new hobbies, spend time with your family, confide in your close friends. All of this will give you a much-needed new perspective and you will be able to move forward in your life.
5. Come out of it all stronger:
Think positive, do things in a positive manner, and most importantly, never, ever forget to love yourself first. Make yourself your first priority – this should never change. You can now move on and date someone else who actually is interested in you. Overall, let this be a lesson to you, and you will come out of it a better and stronger human being.
5 Lessons You Can Learn From Unrequited Love
We always learn something from our experience but what might you learn from these bouts of unrequited love? Here are 5 top lessons you can learn from unrequited love.
- You can’t force someone to love you
- You don’t always get what we want
- Always be real you
- Communicate your feelings because people aren’t mind readers.
- Always respect yourself
Don’t think too much and don’t waste too much time. Just move one. If someone is interested in you, They will definitely show you signs. Just notice that. After a few months, You will look back and think that it was all for some good reason. you will get love from a person who genuinely loves you back and never give up on you.